Figure 1: Feeling optimistic and fresh off a final, a student celebrates by climbing into an SUV and taking a selfie. Bonus if you get a bored sibling in the back. Double bonus if that sibling is also taking a selfie. Selfie inception? At this point, the student will go to either the mall or the beach and proceed to take more selfies or harass workers at Build-A-Bear. The author, for reasons of safety, attempted neither.

Figure 2: The student convinces themselves that consumption of a Starbucks drink will help them study. Never mind that this drink is about .0001% coffee and about 99% sugar. Sugar helps with concentration, right? Right?

Figure 3: Later in the evening, the student finally locates her study guide, if only for the purpose of artfully arranging it on a table to take a picture. After all, why study unless you look the part? And make sure everyone knows about it.

Figure 4: All beings must gain sustenance. Note the open book in the shot to highlight the student’s multi-tasking abilities.

Figure 5: The student is very easily distracted at this point. This may be the 398,595^th picture of their dogs the student has shared. But aren’t they cuuuuuuute??

Figure 6: Panic descends. Suddenly the student realizes the weight of her decisions and questions her ability to do anything successful ever again. Figure 6 shows a plea for help for friends. The world seems like a very unfair place at this point. Illness may be faked.

Figure 7: The next morning. Nothing helps misery like sharing it. Blame the teachers.

No animals or seventh graders were harmed  in the making of this piece. However, Miss Gleason did feel barfy for about an hour after drinking the sugar madness known as a frappuccino. Thanks to Coach Keller for letting me borrow his dogs and his meatloaf.